we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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