i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
