her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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