Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My breasts were aching with rage.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
