Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
