Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
