You don't have asthma, your pregnant
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
