Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
