The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
