I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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