he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
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I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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