you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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