im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
