he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
