i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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