That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize