he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
