When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I came so hard my ears popped.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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