I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
