I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
