My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
