I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
