you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
