Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize