So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
