you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Randomize
