I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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