So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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