i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
