Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
