one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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