I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
