He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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