Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
