why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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