We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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