please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
