There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
