scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
