so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So much Jack, so little girl.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
