Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
