so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
