that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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