we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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