So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
