I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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