put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
there was a trapeze. enough said
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
