Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
