I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
