i just had sex bonerless
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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