She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
