Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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