Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
