Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
