Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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