You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
COCAINE IS GR8
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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