No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
