i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize