I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
