so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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