Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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