your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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