I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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