i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
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You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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