I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I need moral support for this bender
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize