Someone shit on the floor
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
