Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
