am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
